If you are reading this page it probably means that you have been finding things in your life difficult. You may be feeling low or find yourself getting anxious a lot. You may be experiencing difficulties in your relationships with people who are close to you or at work. You may find that you keep getting yourself into the same situation in your relationships again and again. You may be finding it hard to make sense of your feelings.
If you see me, I will provide a safe space where you will be able to talk about the problems that have been troubling you. Talking with someone you feel comfortable with, can trust and who is not involved in your life has been shown to be really helpful. All my work is based on talking – I do not “do” anything – so if you see me we will have a conversation together.
When we first talk together I will want to hear about the problems that have led you to find a therapist. Some of these problems may be quite clear to you but sometimes it is less clear precisely what the issue is – talking together can help with this.
I will also want to learn about you more generally: about the family you grew up in and your relationships within your family, about your education and your work.
I will want to hear about how you may have already tried to improve things – for example, trying to do things differently, or talking with friends or perhaps another therapist.
Sometimes just talking about a problem – getting things said out loud, even if it has felt impossible at times, to someone else and feeling that you are being listened to – can make an enormous difference in itself. You may have been feeling ashamed that you are the person who feels like you do and so it can be a great relief to realise that you are not alone or “unusual” in feeling like this.
So talking with me can bring relief as you will have support to begin to see your situation differently. It will take time for us to understand your problems: how they came about in the first place, and what may have happened in the past that has contributed to the difficulties you experience now.
This can be a complex and difficult process. It can take time to work out what has been happening in your life that has resulted in what you are struggling with now. Sometimes it means putting words to things that you may never have told anyone before because you were too frightened or ashamed. Sometimes when painful things happen to us we “lock them away” and feel too afraid to even think about them – let alone talk about them. I can help you through this process of understanding your problems in depth and help you see the effect they have in your life. However difficult it is, I can provide a safe space and be with you through this process.
Understanding and making sense of things are very important stages in being able to make changes to yourself and to how things are in your life. Together we will explore what you can change and how you can do this. You will also come to terms with things that cannot be changed and we’ll work together to help you find a way to live with that. will
I have been doing this work for many years and this has shown me that my approach can work very well for many people. I do not provide “quick fixes” or give lots of advice. I have found that giving answers “off the cuff” is not very helpful in the long run. What will bring about change is the process of talking, listening and understanding in order for me to help you come to a better understanding of yourself and your difficulties. This process can enable you to understand and take responsibility and control for what happens in your life.